The "first" of "head" wife policy is one of the most damaging family structures existing in many polygynous families.

Any husband who allows any wife to "rule" over any of his other wives is cowardly and incompetent to be the spiritual head of a plural family.

Such husbands love the plural family lifestyle but do not contain the inner strength to maintain one and open the door to inequalities and a disjointed and divided family to his own pain.

Some husbands bereft of responsibility in spiritual matters allow the first wife to dictate terms to the other wives when the Word of God is clear that the wives must be subject to their husbands in everything, not their sister wives.

We are not saying that the wives should not rule the home, such is their God given responsibilities as this verse of Scripture says:
1Ti 5:14 I desire therefore that the younger widows marry, bear children, rule the household, give no occasion to the adversary for reviling: ASV

This fact that the wives, (not just the first wife) are to rule the home demands abolition of the "first wife" or "head wife" error that has crept into plural families.

Potential sister wives who are incapable of working in a loving sister wife environment of co-operation based on Christian love (submission to each other) should not consider becoming a sister wife. Such potential sister wives should examine the potential family very carefully and make sure there is none of this evil "first wife" nonsense less they place themselves in a wickedly inferior position to their deep sorrow.

This bad structure has brought with it the family ills which ride on such falsehoods. There can be social conflicts within such families and widespread mistreatment and inequities.

The moment a husband positions a wife as "first wife" he implies she has more rights than any other wife and so lapses into disproportionate treatment of the other wives. In some families, the "lower ranked" wives have little appeal against ill-treatment and husbands are inclined to provide less for them in all the areas of their responsibilities.

Indeed, in some cases, the first wife dictates to the husband how he will treat the other wives and so the ultimate error; husbands being ruled over by a wife. Not all "first wives" will use their power to ruin the lives of their sister wives and dominate husbands, but ultimate power ultimately brings abuse.

Some plural families who embellish the privileges of the "first wife" swing off this verse;
Exo 21:10 If he takes himself another wife, her food, her clothing, and her duty of marriage shall not be lessened.

They twist this verse so badly in their minds. They see it as authority to promote the first wife so that she receives MORE THAN the other wives which is totally contrary to the passage. Equality to all wives is the spirit of this Scripture.

Warning to pro-polygyny single women.
All women considering marriage in a plural family should be very aware of this unscriptural "first wife" practise.

If you are to be wife number four, then in such families you will be treated as the fourth ranked wife with few, yes, very few, rights and provisions. You could be placed in a position bereft of any recourse and authority whatsoever. And worse still, if you have children, then don't be surprised if your children are placed in a very subservient and secondary position as well with no inclusion in any inheritance or family privileges. Sometimes the "first wife" and her children receive lots more of the family inheritance so "she is not deprived".

Families with the "first wife" or "head wife" displacement practises are a law unto themselves; that is the husband and the first wife rule with absolute power. Subsequent wives have no laws to turn to, save the "first wife" who probably put the "lesser" wives into underprivileged positions of depravity and abandonment in the first place.

The need for Western Governments to bring laws into place for polygynous families is way past due. They have laws in place for "de facto" relationships, and indeed, these same laws address the married man with a "mistress" who has rights after cohabitation. So why would these same legislators discard laws for polygynous families into the "too hard" basket? The answer is simple, they, like most Christians, are rendered myopic with the "monogamy only" position of tradition. However, these same liberal politicians will consider laws for people to marry their pets and for homosexuals to marry. It is time for polygyny to be recognised and appropriate laws in place for the protection of the additional wives who might suffer under this "first wife" abuse.
 

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